The Repelling Tower

The second phase of BWT is the repelling tower.  The repelling tower is forty feet high and is large plank wall that says USMC down the side.  From the ground it looks high.  From the top it looks like you are standing on top of a GOD DAMN MOUNTAIN!!!  We sat through a quick class on how to tie the harness.  The harness is a complicated series of knots tied around your upper thighs and around your waist.  You have to tie extremely tight.  Now I've lost over thirty five pounds since I've been here, so my legs and waist aren't as thick as they used to be.  The harness is digging into my bones.  The procedure for repelling down the wall is relatively simple.  You wear gloves and have two ropes attached to your harness.  You keep one hand in front of you to guide you and one behind your butt to brake you.  How fast you go depends on how tightly you grip the rope.  Sounds simple right?  HAHAHAHA!!  Ya...  not so much!!!  There is a DI at the top and and bottom as safeties or belays.  They will not allow you to fall.  Or so you hope.

We have to climb the steps up to the top of the tower and it takes forever because there are almost three hundred guys that have to do this and they only do two at a time. One guy walks down the wall, the other zip lines off a Huey.

Climbing the stairs and standing there with this make shift nut, butt and hip hugger is tedious and painful.  From the stairs it still doesn't look that high.  Once we get to the top however it is a-whole-nother story.  I'm afraid of heights.  I'm not exactly sure when this happened but I know that it's true.  I began to get insanely nervous the closer it got to my turn.  The reason for this is the one part of the process I didn't mention yet.  Once you are all strapped in and ready, you have you talk to the edge of the tower, turn your back and lean out over it till your straight legs are at a 90 degree angle from the wall.  The only thing keeping you from falling is your hand on the rope.

People say nerves are like butterflies in your stomach, well then I must have had bats in mine.  Leaning out over that wall was the single most terrifying thing I've ever done!!!  The DI screaming in my face didn't help matters.  I began to walk down the wall.  I must have appeared to be going to fast because both the upper and lower DI began screaming at me.  The next thing I knew I was upside down and hanging there.  The lower DI yanked the belay and stopped me and I went backwards because I wasn't ready for it.  So there I am hanging upside down 30 feet above the ground...  DID I MENTION I'M AFRAID OF HEIGHTS?!?!?!  I had get back to wall with my feet and legs pressed against it before the DI would release the belay.  The whole thing might have taken 2 minutes but it felt like 20 years.  Finally I made it down the wall and a tremendous wave of relief washed over me.  Until the DI said I had to go again.  FML!!!  Again?!?!?! Well, the second time went a lot better than the first...  THANK GOD.  I may not have conquered my fear but I beat it back quite a bit today.

The Gas Chamber

The next phase of training is called Basic Warrior Training or BWT.  The first part of this joyous experience is the gas chamber.  We sat through a series of classes where they explained how the mask works and how to create a seal and how to clear the mask.  They also explained what the gas does and its effects on the body. Tear gas or CS gas is a non-lethal weapon that stimulates the corneal nerves in the eyes to cause tears, pain and even blindness. We were told not breathe it in.  We were told not open our eyes.  We were told not touch our faces afterward.  Why am telling you this?  Because just like everything else that we've done in this self-imposed insane asylum, some people just DO NOT listen!!!  

We practiced taking the mask out of the case and putting it on.  We practiced breaking the seal and then clearing the mask.  We practiced raising the mask to our foreheads and the pulling it back on and clearing it.  Finally we practiced taking it all the way and then putting it back on and clearing it.  We did this with our eyes tightly closed, our mouths closed and holding our breath because that is how you do it in the gas chamber.  This will also minimize your exposure to the gas. They emphasized the importance of learning to do this quickly and calmly.  The DIs told us that once we were inside the doors would be locked and that we wouldn't be allowed to leave till we completed the three procedures with the mask.  It almost seemed idiot proof.

Our Senior was in the gas chamber.  He had on a complete Chem Suit.  He looked like Doc Brown or Marty from Back to the Future in that getup.  We had our gas mask carriers strapped to our legs and our fatigues on.  Once we got inside the senior said "GAS! GAS! GAS!"  The signal to put on the masks.  We put on our masks as he broke the gas pellet and CS Gas began to fill the room.  Now one side effect that nobody mentioned is the sting.  We got hair cuts the day before and most of us have sand flea bites all over our arms. The gas seeped into our cuts and our pores and stung like crazy.  I could feel it burning in my ears and my neck from where I shaved the night before. It was uncomfortable but tolerable.

Now what happened next I still find difficult to believe.  We were told to take a deep breath and break the seal of masks. We had to wait till we were told to clear them.  Then we cleared them by pushing the cannister and exhaling which blows the gas out of the mask and reseals it.  However a small amount of the gas remains in the mask and it burns.  Once again uncomfortable but tolerable.  Now the next command was take a deep breath and pull the mask up to our foreheads.  One of the guys did it backwards.  He lifted off his mask and then took a deep breath.  He flipped out.  He began to cough and scream.  The Senior ordered us to clear our masks.  The kid yelled at the top of his "I NEED TO GET THE F@#$ OUT OF HERE!!!" Then he ran as fast as could at the door and literally bounced off it and fell to the ground.  Then he did it again!!!  At this point the Senior grabbed him and slapped him.  Literally he slapped him across the face like Lesley Nielson in Airplane.  "THAT DOOR WON'T OPEN UNTIL WE GET THROUGH THE NEXT TWO MOVEMENTS!!" the Senior screamed.  Somehow the kid got himself together and we did the next two drills.  Once we got outside the cool air hit our skin and then it really started to burn.  Guys were coughing and wretching and snot was running free. If you are ever really stuffed up, a little CS gas will clear you right up!!

A Million Dollar Experience

Did you know that if you stand up straight that you could pass out?  I can't believe it.  We were out practicing for final drill and two guys in the platoon just fainted.  It was the god damnedest thing I've seen yet.  All of a sudden they just collapsed, and when they did they took out the guy next to them.  Apparently if you stand with your knees locked it cuts off the blood flow to your brain and you will pass out.  The body is a truly fascinating thing...   if you lock your knees it cuts off an artery that flows to your brain?!?!  It makes sense I guess but it still blew my mind.  Anyways, guess what happened when they two guys woke up?  If you guess they got screamed at and quarter-decked, then you guessed correctly.  Care to guess what happened to the two guys that got knocked down when they fainted?  They got screamed at and had to push ups for not being more aware of their surroundings.  The sad thing is that I am starting to understand what the DIs are talking about.  While we are supposed to focus on the task at hand, we can't be so focused that we close our eyes to potential risks.  Of course understanding the reason doesn't make the hassle of getting smoked by the DIs any more pleasant.

Our Senior Drill Instructor takes close order drill seriously.  Actually he treats it more like a religion.  And I don't think the most extreme and dedicated Islamic terrorist takes his religion as seriously as the Senior takes Drill.  He was so mad at us for screwing up the drill card the day before Final Drill that he pitted us for an hour.  While he was screaming at us he threw his cover on the ground and spit on it.  He spit on his own hat!!!  Drill Instructors are nicknamed "Hats." They go to 13 weeks of DI School to earn their Hats.  This was really serious.  Before he stormed off and left us with the Heavy and the Green Belts he screamed "Go ahead and look like shit tomorrow if you want!!!  I'm gonna get my 100!!!"  The DIs get scored for Drill separately from the platoon but the scores are combined for the final score.  The rest of our day was a series of ass chewings and drill practice and quarter-deckings, and more drill practice and more ass chewings.

In a weird version of cosmic karma this collection of incompetent fools known as Platoon 2070 nailed final drill.  We were locked and cocked.  We nailed every movement in perfect sync.  Due to a forecast that called for lightning we did rifle manual in the gym and didn't do the marching portion at all. We really thought we had won our first series trophy.  When the Senior came back from the Series meeting we expected to have the trophy with him.  He didn't.  It turns out that HE got docked points for a misstep and that lowered our score from 1st place to third.  On a normal day I think we would have gotten smoked for half the day because we lost.  This wasn't a normal day.  He was proud of us and mad at himself.  For the rest of the day we watched movies in the squad bay.  We got to see pride on all of DIs faces and that was something special.  Sometimes this can be a million dollar experience...  a million dollar experience that you wouldn't pay a nickel for.

Even when you win, you lose!

I swear that this place is designed to screw you over.  Thirteen weeks is a long time but considering all the stuff that needs to be crammed in, it might be too short.  Swim qual alone could take two or three weeks.  Instead, they cram an inspection in that week as well.  Everyone needs to get through the initial swim qualification.  Whether that takes one day or five is insignificant.  Combat Water Survival Qualification takes five days.  So here is part of the mind fuck that is Marine Corps Basic Training.  The DIs love to tell us that every Marine is a rifleman, every Marine needs to know everything there is to know about basic infantry skills.  If a Marine can't swim, he needs to take five days to learn.  However, if you know how to swim then get to the pool get through Day 1 and worry about getting the other four days done once you get to your unit.  Oh and by the way, the platoon gets points (yes points, like the friggin houses at Hogwarts) for how many recruits pass all five levels.  The DIs go postal whenever somebody succeeds in the pool and has to go back the following day, but go equally postal when somebody comes back with a failure.  I was a lifeguard for three years before I joined the Marines.  I grew up going to a lake every summer and swimming everyday.  My uncle taught me to swim by throwing me off the dock without a lifejacket on when I barely old enough to walk for christ sake.  The one thing I knew I wouldn't have a lot of trouble with here was the pool.  So after being starved for the last month and not seeming able to do anything except stutter when asked a simple question, I finally got to shine.  I was the only recruit in Platoon 2070 to get CWSQ 5.  I didn't realize that I inadvertently screwed myself over by doing well in the pool.  The rest of the platoon spent most of the week prepping there uniforms and cleaning their rifles.  I didn't have the same amount of time to clean mine, and you can't unlock your rifle at just any given time.  The DIs told us that when the Inspector asks how long we cleaned our rifles we were to answer "This recruit cleans his rifle for one hour every day, Sir!"  The screws in the buttstock of my rifle had sand in them.  I knew it. My squad leader knew it.  My DIs knew it.  The Inspector asked me why my rifle was dirty?  How long did I spend cleaning it each day?  I answered the way I was ordered to.  The Inspector failed me.  There were six failures in the platoon for that inspection.  Each of us got quarterdecked for a half hour for our unsatisfactory performance.  My personal favorite part of the quarterdecking was Sgt Smith repeatedly asking me if I enjoyed my leisurely week at the pool?  Ya you stupid jackass!!  Of course I did!!  Especially the part where the Instructor jumped on my back and tried to drown me!!!   I guess Gryffindor gets no points today!!!!

Combat Water Survival

Every time I think that I've officially heard the dumbest f@#$ing question imaginable, one of these sons of bitches goes above and beyond the limits of rational thought and delivers a gem.  We are at Marine Corps Recruit Depot Parris Island South Carolina.  We are not at boot for the Army or the Air Force.  The Marine Corps fights on land, in the air and in the WATER.  The freaking Marines Hymn states "we will fight our country's battles in the air, on land and sea!"  So maybe somebody else can explain why one of the guys in the platoon asked this question,"Why do we have to pass a swim qual?!? My recruiter never said anything about going in the water!"  How the hell did this guy graduate from high school?  How the hell did this guy pass the ASVAB??  How the hell did somebody think that giving this imbecile a gun was a good idea?!?!

Before I came down here I thought that I was pretty smart and reasonably well travelled.  It never occurred to me before this week that a majority of young black men can't swim.  I am admitting my own ignorance here and I'm not trying to lump anyone into a stereotype.  Almost all the black recruits in Platoon 2070 failed swim qual.  I only mention this because they excel in all the other physical activities that we get forced to do; running, pull-ups, crunches, obstacles, pugil sticks..  you name it they are awesome at it.  Now, to be fair I should mention that we aren't talking about simple swimming.  I am talking about swimming in fatigues and boots, so it's not easy.  There is also a jump into the deep end of a two meter platform with a band around your arms and legs.  One recruit started to cry and scream at the top of his lungs on the platform because he was so scared.  This is where I don't understand the DIs.  This kid is terrified and screaming..  so what does the DI?  If you guessed scream at him that he is miserable, good for nothing, waste of air.  Now that is a reasonable reaction.  

History

Have you heard the expression "Beat it into your head"?  You're probably thinking that I'm about to describe one of my fellow recruits getting beaten down, and if that's the case then in this particular case you would be mistaken.  What I'm referring to is the idea that you can learn something by putting a beat to it and repeating it over and over.  Whenever we go anywhere, we march in four columns to the cadence of one of the DIs.  The cadence is a simple one, usually "Left, Right, Left, Right, Left, Right, Left."  Any subsequent command will always come after the last 'Left'.  But this is the standard beat.  After we start marching, the DI guiding the platoon will say "Echo On!!!" and the entire platoon will repeat "Echo On!!!"  From this point the platoon will repeat everything the DI says until he says "Echo Off!!!"  This is how the DIs beat facts into our heads.  For example, the DI says "The five major battles of World War Two are", the platoon will repeat this. Then he says "Key word B.I.G.O.T.", the platoon repeats.  He finishes with "Bougainville, Iwo Jima, Guadalcanal, Okinawa, Tarawa", the platoon repeats.  In three sentences the platoon has just learned that the Marine Corps five major battles of WWII are Bougainville, Iwo Jima, Guadalcanal, Okinawa, and Tarawa.  Does it matter that this keyword has the battles out of sequence, no.  This gets 'beaten' into the head due to it's simplicity and repetition.

That is one way that we learn the history of the Marine Corps.  The other way is to sit in giant lecture halls and have actual classes about USMC History.  It has occurred to me sitting through these that the Marine Corps takes more pride in it's history than any other group anywhere.  It also occurs to me that they get some of the most eccentric SNCOs on the planet to teach it.  We learned about one of the two two-time Congressional Medal of Honor winners in Marine Corps history.  He received his first Medal of Honor in 1900 during the Boxer Rebellion for singlehandedly defending his position against repeated attacks and inflicted casualties of around 200 on the attacking Boxers.  At the Battle of Belleau during WWI he is credited with yelling to his men "C'mon, you sons of bitches! Do you want to live forever?!?!"  You may have heard that quote before in a movie or TV show, but now you know that a Marine coined it.  This is the kind of thing I mean when I say that nobody takes more pride in their history.  The History classes are usually taught by the same Staff Sergeant.  What makes him unique is that after he tells us some fact about an individual or unit that won a battle against seemingly insurmountable odds he'll say, "That's pretty GODDAMN MOTIVATING, is IT not?!?"  I have written this exactly how he says it with the capitalized words being the ones he put emphasis on.  He's a character for sure.

These classes are a welcome change of pace to our day.  They are held inside, in an air conditioned auditorium.  All we have to do is sit there, listen and stay awake.  That's it!!  Now that sounds pretty easy doesn't it?  For some of these clowns this is too much to ask.  On average at least 10 guys will fall asleep, another 10 will get caught talking, and inevitably the whole platoon will get smoked after the class.

All that silliness aside, I heard something fascinating in one class this week.  The instructor was talking about the changes in warfare and how much the world has changed in the last ten years.  He told us "The next war that the United States will get into will be a direct result of an attack on American soil and that it will happen in the next five years!"  I heard this and thought "Holy SH@# how the hell do they know this?!? And then I got scared because I looked around the room and realized that these stupid sons of bitches sitting all around are going to the ones fighting it?!?!  God help us!

FINALLY!!!

They say that revenge is a dish best served cold.  I shed a tear this morning, but it was a tear of joy and relief.  Finally, the vicious, mass murdering, evil bastard who masterminded 9/11/01, Osama bin Laden is dead. For so many reasons this changes things for the world.  A zealot of evil and a demagogue of hate is dead.  There will be no more audio tapes.  There will be no more speculating about his possible whereabouts.  There will be no more doubting American resolve.  In the wake of Vietnam, there has a been a standing doctrine from enemies of America that if you can make the fight last long enough and kill enough Americans that America will lose its nerve.  No matter how long it takes, justice will be done.  I'm not foolish enough to believe that this will end the war on terror or future wars.  As long as there are people on this planet there will be intolerance, envy, hatred, violence and war.  However that doesn't mean that it's not okay to take a minute to celebrate and breathe a sigh of relief when a giant stain on humanity is removed.

Fifty years ago, President John F. Kennedy proclaimed, "Let the word go forth from this time and place, to friend and foe alike, that the torch has been passed to a new generation of Americans -- born in this century, tempered by war, disciplined by a hard and bitter peace, proud of our ancient heritage, and unwilling to witness or permit the slow undoing of those human rights to which this nation has always been committed, and to which we are committed today at home and around the world. Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, to assure the survival and the success of liberty.  This much we pledge -- and more."

With joy and relief I salute the men and women of the United States Armed Forces, all our veterans, the intelligence community, President Barrack Obama and former President George W. Bush, and the American people.  You have reconfirmed to the world that we will pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, to assure the survival and success of liberty.  Now let's turn the page.

Osama, I sincerely hope that you enjoy Hell.