The morning of the PFT was especially humid even for this god forsaken sauna. When we got into formation outside the barracks to march to the PT Field the Senior suddenly changed tones. He told us not to worry about getting a 300, he told us to just make sure we passed. He said "You'll have your entire careers to get a 300, just don't F@#$ up and get dropped in training!" Of course we all said "AYE SIR!" Well, pull ups were first and after the fiasco that occurred during the practice I tried to stay as far away from Sgt Smith's line as possible. I did eight pull ups. Nothing spectacular but nowhere close to failure. That was my simple goal, don't fail. I did 100 crunches. My rackmate Mike was my counter and we agreed that if it was close it would count. So we each got 100. Personally I don't give a crap at this point what the DIs say is good or bad at this point. So now it's time for the 3 mile run. The course is mostly flat. It's a mile and a half to the DI Bridge and then back. I tried to pace myself. But the nerves would set in and tell me that I was running to slow, then my legs would burn and beg me to slow down. When I got to the DI bridge the DI yelling out times said 11 minutes 15 seconds. If I continued on that pace then I'd finish at 22 minutes 30 seconds and pass the PFT with five and half minutes to spare. That's what I did. I finished at 22 minutes 30 seconds. Not stellar, but passed and could continue to stay with my platoon and now I'm another step closer to getting the hell out of here. However I am so sick of the DIs getting in my face about my PFT and my weight. I came here at 225 and now I weigh 180 which by the way is 35 F@#$ING pounds under the weight requirement, that when the Senior called my name for my time I told him 20 minutes 30 seconds. I really don't know if 12 points helped my score that much but I do know that I wasn't giving the bastards another excuse to mess with me.
Two things happened during the PFT that I will never forget... EVER. Murphy, a guy in 2070, failed the run. And when I say that he failed the run, I mean he got pulled along by the Series Commander as he threw up on himself and wheezed. Three DIs were circling him and screaming at him and he fell flat on his face when he got to the finish line. That is an UNQ or Unqualified, and Murphy was rolled back later that day. The other thing that happened, and this is the truly unbelievable one, was my squad leader shit himself during the run. When the PFT was over the platoon went to the barracks and stripped down and tossed all or PT gear into a pile in the center of the squad bay. Our names are stamped on our shirts, shorts and socks so once they are washed we get them back. The Senior walked around the pile talking to us when suddenly he stopped and said "What the F@#$?! Is that shit on the floor?!? IS THAT SHIT ON THE FLOOR?!?! WHY THE F@#$ IS THERE SHIT ON THE FLOOR?!?! WHO'S SHORTS ARE THESE?!?!" My squad leader, Recruit Dave Umoren answered "Sir, those shorts are this recruit's, Sir!" The exchange between them went like this:
Senior: JESUS CHRIST UMOREN WHY THE F@#$ DIDN'T YOU STOP AND SHIT IN THE WOODS INSTEAD OF SHITTING YOUR SHORTS?!?!?
Umoren: Sir, I was running really fast and didn't want to stop and ruin my time, Sir!
Senior: Well God damn!!! That right there is motivation recruits!! That is what I'm talking about!!! That's what I like to see... HE'D RATHER SHIT HIS DRAWERS THAN SLOW DOWN OR STOP!!! GOOD JOB UMOREN!!! Now that being said... you are gonna clean that up cuz that is just disgusting you nasty son of bitch!!!
The whole platoon, DIs and all, laughed at that. Umoren is a good guy, but that is seriously messed up. I guess this place brings something different out of all of us. Nobody back home will ever believe me when I tell them this story. But it happened.
