Combat Water Survival

Every time I think that I've officially heard the dumbest f@#$ing question imaginable, one of these sons of bitches goes above and beyond the limits of rational thought and delivers a gem.  We are at Marine Corps Recruit Depot Parris Island South Carolina.  We are not at boot for the Army or the Air Force.  The Marine Corps fights on land, in the air and in the WATER.  The freaking Marines Hymn states "we will fight our country's battles in the air, on land and sea!"  So maybe somebody else can explain why one of the guys in the platoon asked this question,"Why do we have to pass a swim qual?!? My recruiter never said anything about going in the water!"  How the hell did this guy graduate from high school?  How the hell did this guy pass the ASVAB??  How the hell did somebody think that giving this imbecile a gun was a good idea?!?!

Before I came down here I thought that I was pretty smart and reasonably well travelled.  It never occurred to me before this week that a majority of young black men can't swim.  I am admitting my own ignorance here and I'm not trying to lump anyone into a stereotype.  Almost all the black recruits in Platoon 2070 failed swim qual.  I only mention this because they excel in all the other physical activities that we get forced to do; running, pull-ups, crunches, obstacles, pugil sticks..  you name it they are awesome at it.  Now, to be fair I should mention that we aren't talking about simple swimming.  I am talking about swimming in fatigues and boots, so it's not easy.  There is also a jump into the deep end of a two meter platform with a band around your arms and legs.  One recruit started to cry and scream at the top of his lungs on the platform because he was so scared.  This is where I don't understand the DIs.  This kid is terrified and screaming..  so what does the DI?  If you guessed scream at him that he is miserable, good for nothing, waste of air.  Now that is a reasonable reaction.  

History

Have you heard the expression "Beat it into your head"?  You're probably thinking that I'm about to describe one of my fellow recruits getting beaten down, and if that's the case then in this particular case you would be mistaken.  What I'm referring to is the idea that you can learn something by putting a beat to it and repeating it over and over.  Whenever we go anywhere, we march in four columns to the cadence of one of the DIs.  The cadence is a simple one, usually "Left, Right, Left, Right, Left, Right, Left."  Any subsequent command will always come after the last 'Left'.  But this is the standard beat.  After we start marching, the DI guiding the platoon will say "Echo On!!!" and the entire platoon will repeat "Echo On!!!"  From this point the platoon will repeat everything the DI says until he says "Echo Off!!!"  This is how the DIs beat facts into our heads.  For example, the DI says "The five major battles of World War Two are", the platoon will repeat this. Then he says "Key word B.I.G.O.T.", the platoon repeats.  He finishes with "Bougainville, Iwo Jima, Guadalcanal, Okinawa, Tarawa", the platoon repeats.  In three sentences the platoon has just learned that the Marine Corps five major battles of WWII are Bougainville, Iwo Jima, Guadalcanal, Okinawa, and Tarawa.  Does it matter that this keyword has the battles out of sequence, no.  This gets 'beaten' into the head due to it's simplicity and repetition.

That is one way that we learn the history of the Marine Corps.  The other way is to sit in giant lecture halls and have actual classes about USMC History.  It has occurred to me sitting through these that the Marine Corps takes more pride in it's history than any other group anywhere.  It also occurs to me that they get some of the most eccentric SNCOs on the planet to teach it.  We learned about one of the two two-time Congressional Medal of Honor winners in Marine Corps history.  He received his first Medal of Honor in 1900 during the Boxer Rebellion for singlehandedly defending his position against repeated attacks and inflicted casualties of around 200 on the attacking Boxers.  At the Battle of Belleau during WWI he is credited with yelling to his men "C'mon, you sons of bitches! Do you want to live forever?!?!"  You may have heard that quote before in a movie or TV show, but now you know that a Marine coined it.  This is the kind of thing I mean when I say that nobody takes more pride in their history.  The History classes are usually taught by the same Staff Sergeant.  What makes him unique is that after he tells us some fact about an individual or unit that won a battle against seemingly insurmountable odds he'll say, "That's pretty GODDAMN MOTIVATING, is IT not?!?"  I have written this exactly how he says it with the capitalized words being the ones he put emphasis on.  He's a character for sure.

These classes are a welcome change of pace to our day.  They are held inside, in an air conditioned auditorium.  All we have to do is sit there, listen and stay awake.  That's it!!  Now that sounds pretty easy doesn't it?  For some of these clowns this is too much to ask.  On average at least 10 guys will fall asleep, another 10 will get caught talking, and inevitably the whole platoon will get smoked after the class.

All that silliness aside, I heard something fascinating in one class this week.  The instructor was talking about the changes in warfare and how much the world has changed in the last ten years.  He told us "The next war that the United States will get into will be a direct result of an attack on American soil and that it will happen in the next five years!"  I heard this and thought "Holy SH@# how the hell do they know this?!? And then I got scared because I looked around the room and realized that these stupid sons of bitches sitting all around are going to the ones fighting it?!?!  God help us!

FINALLY!!!

They say that revenge is a dish best served cold.  I shed a tear this morning, but it was a tear of joy and relief.  Finally, the vicious, mass murdering, evil bastard who masterminded 9/11/01, Osama bin Laden is dead. For so many reasons this changes things for the world.  A zealot of evil and a demagogue of hate is dead.  There will be no more audio tapes.  There will be no more speculating about his possible whereabouts.  There will be no more doubting American resolve.  In the wake of Vietnam, there has a been a standing doctrine from enemies of America that if you can make the fight last long enough and kill enough Americans that America will lose its nerve.  No matter how long it takes, justice will be done.  I'm not foolish enough to believe that this will end the war on terror or future wars.  As long as there are people on this planet there will be intolerance, envy, hatred, violence and war.  However that doesn't mean that it's not okay to take a minute to celebrate and breathe a sigh of relief when a giant stain on humanity is removed.

Fifty years ago, President John F. Kennedy proclaimed, "Let the word go forth from this time and place, to friend and foe alike, that the torch has been passed to a new generation of Americans -- born in this century, tempered by war, disciplined by a hard and bitter peace, proud of our ancient heritage, and unwilling to witness or permit the slow undoing of those human rights to which this nation has always been committed, and to which we are committed today at home and around the world. Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, to assure the survival and the success of liberty.  This much we pledge -- and more."

With joy and relief I salute the men and women of the United States Armed Forces, all our veterans, the intelligence community, President Barrack Obama and former President George W. Bush, and the American people.  You have reconfirmed to the world that we will pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, to assure the survival and success of liberty.  Now let's turn the page.

Osama, I sincerely hope that you enjoy Hell.