10 years and a lot of ups and downs

My Marine Corps journey began on March 9, 1999 when I decided to enlist.  I have written extensively about boot camp and all the trials that it offered.  Much to the annoyance of some of my friends, I haven't gotten to the "good" parts yet or introduced any significant recurring characters.  There is a simple reason for this.  All the details are the good parts, and the significant character in this story is me.  This is my story.  I began writing it down because I wanted to pour it out and look at it to see what it revealed.  This story is more than a creative outlet.  It's a self study.  The Marine Corps profoundly changed my life.  It made me stronger.  It made me weaker.  It made me more confident.  It made me more self-conscious.  It cost me some friends.  It made me a better husband, father and friend.  It gave me nightmares.  Since I left the Marine Corps in September 2003, I have gotten married, had a son, and earned a Master's Degree.  I have also lost five jobs for reasons ranging from budget cuts to personality conflicts to not making it my whole life.  I guess it would be easy to look at either the successes or the failures and pass judgment.  I'm never late. I rarely take a day off.  I am honest.  I make mistakes and I own up to them.  For some reason, I don't think that my opinion matters.  This is a bi-product of my service.  I don't argue with bosses or offer my opinion when I disagree.  I'm starting to realize that this may be hurting me in the civilian world.  I think that I have been labeled as lacking for being willing to try to do things differently.  Once again I find myself at the end of one opportunity and searching for another.  I've been soul-searching.  I've been trying to remember that 6'2 and bullet proof feeling I had in September 1999 when I said I'll never be afraid of anything because surviving P.I. meant I could survive anything.  So, I think the time has come to get serious once again.  I hope you have enjoyed reading this blog and that you are ready to get hit with a lot more.  Five for Fighting wrote in the song "Chances" that "Chances lost are life's torn out pages", well you gotta take them before you can tear them down.  I have always loved Shawn Michaels of the WWE not because he's the Show Stopper, the Icon, or the Main Event.  I have loved him because he has failed as often as he's succeeded, sometimes worse, but he has always found his way back to the light. He sums up how I've been feeling lately...