Life went on...

Boot camp was a transformation. It was a transformation of body and mind. I lost 50 lbs at PI. None of my clothes fit. I was away for 14 weeks. A lot can happen in 14 weeks. I got letters from family and some friends. I also didn't get any contact from some friends.  When I left, I felt like I was leaving everyone and everything behind.  It was scary. It was lonely. I cried at night during boot camp. Coming home I wanted to show everyone the transformation. I wanted to look the people in the eye who told me I couldn't do it they were wrong. I wanted to show them who I had become. But the funny thing about transforming your body and mind is that you don't feel comfortable in your old life and your old life doesn't feel comfortable with you. My family told I was too skinny. My friends told me I looked like a smaller younger me, like a little brother. Some people wanted to fight me, you know just to see what I learned. Some wanted to just avoid me, cuz at some point in their lives they didn't like the military so I was some one to take that out on. I wanted to make mend some fences with people that didn't want them mended.

The biggest difference was between me and my dad. When I told him that I was going to join the Marines after college, he looked at me like I had just kicked him in the nuts.  The conversation went something like this:

Dad: Do you purposely choose every path in life that I don't like?

Me: What do you mean?

Dad: I wasn't a good student, you were. I wasn't an athlete, you were. I never went to college, you did. I hate fraternities, you started one. I don't like actors, you've done 13 plays. I was in the Army and I hate Marines, now you want to be one? Why do you do these things?

Me: Didn't you always say that you want me to be better than you? This is how I'm trying to do that. Besides, you are my hero. You served this country and I want to as well.

Dad: Well, this is what I think of your decision. 1) As a father I'm against this. It's my job to keep you safe and I can't if you do this. 2) As a father I also taught you to follow your dreams, and I know this has been a dream of yours for years. 3) I'm a veteran. You owe this to me. You owe this to me, and to all those who went before you. So good luck.

I wrote some very honest letters home from boot camp to my dad. He saved them. He brings them up every now and again if he thinks my head is too big. But he purposely needles me about the Marine Corps and our traditions and gets really pissy when I do it back. He really hates when I say that ARMY stands for Aint Ready for the Marines Yet. But he loves to say Semper whatever you people say.  He seems angry at me for joining the Marines and is being passive aggressive about it. I love him and I'm not looking forward to saying goodbye again when I go to MCT. Just surprised by how small home seems and how much I want to stay.