Why Oh Why?!?!

I can't believe how much insanity can occur in just a couple days.  I can't believe how little sleep a person can get and still function.  I can't believe that the Marine Corps clams to be the finest fighting force in the world and recruits such unbelievable idiots.  I mean young, dumb and full of cum doesn't scratch the surface.  My platoon has over 130 guys in it (Only 75 will graduate, but we'll get to that later) and you could say that we're a motley crew.  You have black militants, racist rednecks, stud athletes, geeks, a Russian immigrant, a pair of twins, high school dropouts, college graduates (me and one other guy), morons, gang bangers, smart asses, alpha males, cocky little punks, failures, and criminals.  The only thing we all have in common is that for some reason we all want to be Marines.  Personally I wonder every minute what the hell I am doing here.

We have marched back and forth between three buildings for the last three days.  We aren't allowed to talk, or move without permission.  We have been taken to the dentist and the eye doctor (I fell asleep while I was reading the eye chart and smacked upside the head...  So much for no physical abuse!).  We lined up outside medical and removed our blouses (Cammie long sleeved shirt.  Don't you love Marine jargon?!?!) and rolled up the sleeves of our brown T-Shirts.  Then we snaked around this big room to eventually stand in front of what I can only describe as a gauntlet.  Six Naval Corpsmen lined up in in pairs, each has a shot gun (not a double barrel or a 12 gauge, but literally a hand held shot gun with a needle, a big handle trigger and mixture of shots in it ranging from Flu vaccine to TB).  Each of us has to walk in between the three pairs and stand there while each loads his gun and then fires a shot into the meaty part of the shoulder, I can't help but wonder if this is what cows feel like as they are branded.  Six actual shots, I don't know how many vaccines, one recruit fainted during the second round of shots and one recruit who threatened to punch the Corpsman if he even thought about sticking that gun in his arm.  He was pulled out of line.  I can only assume that I'll never see him again.  After this pleasant experience it was time for head calls (bathroom breaks).  I was taking a leak when the guy in the next stall passed out while he was pissing.  Yes you heard me correctly.  When he fell, he fell forward but he kind of crumpled.  He hit his face on the toilet and broke the toilet and his jaw.  Can you believe that?  He was on the floor face down, with his hand on his junk, a piece of the toilet next to his head and he was still pissing?!?!  Turns out his name was Crooks.  Crooks had a hell of a first day and he spent the next couple weeks with his jaw wired shut.  The funny part was that when he came to the Drill Instructor cussed him out for breaking the toilet?!?!

Before I left for this Godforsaken place my friend Dan told me to bring a packet of Nodoz with me and not to get caught with it.  I brought it with me, but the DIs spook me out so much that I threw it away.  I really shouldn't have.  Sleep deprivation is a powerful tool. Combine that with being kept in the dark about what's going on and having a maniac scream in your face about everything you do is mentally, physically, and emotionally destructive.

Now I don't know what some of these retreads were thinking when they signed up, but what shocks me the most is that some of them failed the initial strength test.  A couple guys couldn't do a pull up.  Not one pull up!  To pass you need to do three.  A bunch couldn't do fifty crunches in two minutes.  To pass you need to do seventy.  And a whole butt load couldn't run a mile and a half in under fifteen minutes.  So all of these failures were taken away to Physical Conditioning Platoon, PCP or Pork Chop Platoon for two weeks and will try to pass the IST again.  Screw that!!!  That's two extra weeks in hell that doesn't count for remedial physical training!!  One guy started crying when he found out he had failed and just started running down the street wailing.  Where the F@#$ did he think was going?!?  Besides if he'd run as fast during the test as he did while he was trying to escape he might have passed.