You aren't worth...

We have been Platoon 2070 for a week and it has been the longest week of my life.  I read every book, saw every movie I could find and talked to as many Marines as I could about what PI is like.  I actually thought I was prepared for this.  I must be a complete fool.  I wasn't ready for this.  This is a God damn nightmare.  The DIs are omniscient, maniacal, slave drivers.  The other recruits in this platoon are either completely insane or complete idiots.  I've seen guys sleep walk, and have night terrors.  One of the sleep walkers must have been dreaming about getting his ass chewed out because he was screaming "SIR, YES SIR" and standing on line.  I am not kidding.  One of the guys has pissed his bed every night.  He's eighteen years old for Christ sake?!?!  This one big black kid must have decided that this isn't for him because he waited by the door of the DI office and when SSgt Askew came out, he slapped Askew's hat right off his head and said "I'm going home and if you try to stop me, I'm gonna kick your ass!"  Are you kidding me?!?  This dude was big and he had the jump on Askew.  I really thought somebody was gonna get killed.  Instead what happened was SSgt Askew pulled a Jedi mind trick on this big bastard.  He talked him down and brought him in to his office.  Of course it should be noted that he never came back out.  I can only assume that the Heavy either sent the kid packing or that he killed him and ate his remains.

I never thought that marching in a formation could be so difficult.  This platoon either can't listen or can't understand simple instructions.  We start drilling and before we even get 20 feet we inevitably hear "Oh hell no! Get back!"  So everyone turns and runs back to where we started and we try again.  This goes on for hours!  It is ridiculously humid here, and there are little bugs that swarm around your head because of the layer of sweat that is always there.  If you move, wince or God forbid slap at one, you will get destroyed by whichever one of the DIs sees you..  and one of them will ALWAYS see you.

I'll go more into detail about the general insanity of this place some other time, for now I want to focus on one that happened.  We apparently are the worst collection of screw ups and retards in the known universe according to our DIs.  They are so sick of us that the Heavy chewed our asses out last night for at least an hour.  He took the Platoon guidon and threw it in the trash.  He told us, and this is a quote, "Not one of you is worth how many hours your pathetic mothers were in labor with you!"  Well, this got a reaction from a few guys, including me, but one of the squad leaders spoke up and said "Sir, this recruit doesn't appreciate that.  Some of these recruits' mothers are dead, Sir!"  The next thing the Heavy said was quite possibly the most evil and cruel thing I've ever heard.  He said "Good, then they aren't here to see the DISGRACE you've all become!"  He delivered this line with such venom that I have no doubt he meant it.  After that he basically told us that if we don't get our heads out of our asses and start doing things the right way that we will all wish we were never born.  I am relatively convinced that this is Hell and that if the Heavy isn't Satan, then he is his right hand man.